So you want to know what 'appened that night, eh? Well, lemme tell ya! I knows it all. I were there now, weren't I? Seen it wif me own two little peepers, I 'ave! Best buy us another round o' drinks. Wouldn't want me ole tongue to go dry right at the juicy bits now, would we?
Now, that night, I were out with me old Jolly Jenny an' me crew. 'ad been fishin all day, an' not a single little fishie 'ad come anywere near our nets. Right spooky it were. So I tells me boys as 'ow we're going to stay out a bit longer, see if we couldnt catch anything after dark an' make the trip not be a total waste. And so we was waitin' an' starin' into the night.
An' then, outta nothin', lighnin' flashes! Never in all me days 'ave I seen linghtnin' right out a clear sky like that. An' then, there's mist boilin' all around us, and the sea gets up and tosses us around fer a bit.
When it calms down, right back on deck we were, squintin' out into the fog. There was a rumblin' comin' across the water, like from a huge beast growlin' its anger. I goes an' gets me a sturdy length of wood, an' I tells me mates to do the same. Better safe than sorry, says I. So there we are, starin' put into the soup, all 'oldin' some weapon. An' the rumblin' gets louder an' louder.
Another flash, an' the fog tears open. There she is! The Titanic! I knows 'er right away! Them four smokestacks, that huge 'ull. A magnificent beast she was, an' no mistake, but none that you wants bearin' down on ya. So we scrambles for the rudder sharpish!
An' just as we are out the way, I hears it again, the rumble. Only this time it gets to be a right deafenin' roar of a sound. And after the great ship it comes, the beast. A sight to make a grown man cower in fright like a little girl. But I couldn't tear me eyes away, all the time clutchin' at the rudder, an' so I seen it all. I seen wha' really 'appened to the greatest ship in the 'ole world!
Giant tentacles boilin' outta the sea, grippin' 'er 'ull an' rippin' it like it were made of paper, an' the 'ole time that deafenin roar comin from the beast's beak! I only just seen 'her break in 'alf an' all the peple fallin' right into the monster's maw as the fog closed behind us. We ran for land like ole scratch 'imself were on our 'eels!
An' that's what really 'appened to the Titanic, I tells ya! Not what all the newspapers worte, 'twere no iceberg what got 'er! If ya don't believe me, jus' look at me mate Freddy over there, 'is 'air turned all white from fear, an' all twitchy! I knows the truth! There be a monster out there, an' I'm not goin' back out. They calls me a dunken ole liar, but just you wait till it gets 'em! Jus' wait...